Big Feelings: Guiding Your Child Through Difficult Emotions

# Big Feelings

Children have big feelings. That's not a problem to fix — it's normal, healthy and something every child experiences. Our job isn't to stop the feelings. It's to help them through.

## Why Big Feelings Happen

Children are still learning to understand and manage emotions. Their brains are growing. Their world is big and new. Sometimes, that overwhelm comes out as tears, anger, or shutting down.

This is not bad behaviour. It's a child who needs help.

## What to Do in the Moment

### 1. Stay Calm

Your calm is their anchor. If you get upset too, the storm gets bigger. Take a breath. Lower your voice. Be the steady they need.

### 2. Name the Feeling

'You seem really frustrated.'

'I can see you're feeling sad.'

'That looks like anger.'

Naming a feeling doesn't make it bigger — it makes it manageable. Children can't manage what they can't name.

### 3. Be Present

You don't need to fix it. You just need to be there. A hug, a hand on the shoulder, sitting beside them — presence is regulation.

### 4. Wait

Big feelings pass. Don't try to reason with a child mid-meltdown — their thinking brain is offline. Wait for the storm to pass, then talk.

## Building Emotional Intelligence

Big feelings aren't just something to survive. They're an opportunity to build emotional intelligence that lasts a lifetime.

### Talk About Feelings Regularly

- 'How did that make you feel?'

- 'I felt frustrated when...'

- 'What do you think your friend was feeling?'

### Read Stories About Feelings

Stories help children see that everyone has big feelings — and that's okay. Larry's stories always show characters working through emotions.

### Practise Calm Together

- Deep breaths — 'smell the flower, blow out the candle'

- Count to ten together

- A quiet corner they can go to when they need it

## What to Avoid

- **Dismissing** — 'You're fine' or 'Don't cry'

- **Shaming** — 'Big girls/boys don't cry'

- **Distracting** instead of acknowledging — 'Look at this!'

- **Punishing** feelings — children need to know all feelings are okay

## The Larry Way

Larry teaches that every feeling is valid. Sadness, anger, fear, frustration — they're all part of being human. Children don't need to hide their feelings. They need to learn that feelings are visitors — they come, and they go, and they're always welcome to be felt.

## When to Seek Help

Most big feelings are normal and developmental. But if you're concerned — if feelings seem overwhelming, persistent, or are affecting daily life — trust your instincts and speak to your GP or your child's school. Asking for help is brave.