Bullying: Supporting Your Child With Compassion

Bullying is one of the hardest things a child — and a parent — can face. It strikes at the heart of confidence and belonging. But with the right support, your child can come through it stronger, more resilient, and more secure in their own worth.

First, it's important to understand what bullying is. Bullying is repeated, intentional behaviour that causes physical or emotional harm. It includes teasing, name-calling, exclusion, physical aggression, and — increasingly — online harassment. A one-off argument isn't bullying. Persistent, targeted behaviour is.

Here's how to recognise and respond to bullying:

First, recognise the signs. Children don't always tell you they're being bullied. Watch for changes: reluctance to go to school, unexplained stomach aches or headaches, lost or damaged belongings, sudden withdrawal, changes in eating or sleeping, or a drop in confidence. If you notice these signs, gently ask: 'How are things at school? Is anyone being unkind to you?'

Second, listen without minimising. When your child tells you about bullying, your reaction matters enormously. Don't say 'Just ignore them' or 'Sticks and stones.' Instead, listen fully. Validate: 'That sounds really hard. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Thank you for telling me.' Feeling heard is the first step toward healing.

Third, teach assertive responses. Children who are bullied often freeze. Practise simple, assertive responses: 'Stop. I don't like that.' 'Leave me alone.' Walk away. Tell an adult. Role-play these at home until they feel natural. Assertiveness isn't aggression — it's standing up for yourself calmly and clearly.

Fourth, work with the school, not against them. Approach the school calmly and collaboratively. 'My child has told me about some things that are happening. Can we talk about how to address this together?' Most schools take bullying seriously and have protocols in place. Document incidents, follow up, and keep the school informed. Avoid confronting the other child or their parents directly — this usually makes things worse.

Fifth, build your child's confidence outside school. Bullying can shatter self-esteem. Counterbalance it by building your child up in other areas: sports, arts, clubs, friendships outside school, family time. Help them find spaces where they feel valued, capable, and safe.

Finally, know when to seek professional help. If your child is showing signs of significant distress — anxiety, depression, self-harm, or refusal to attend school — seek support from your GP or a mental health professional. There is no shame in getting help.

Remember: bullying is never the victim's fault. Your child did nothing to deserve it. With your love, advocacy, and support, they will come through this — not just surviving, but growing stronger, kinder, and more confident in who they are.