Managing Worries: Helping Your Anxious Child
Practical strategies to help anxious children understand and manage their worries with confidence.
Anxiety in children is common and manageable. Here's how to help your child understand their worries and develop tools to cope.
Larry Says
"Worries are like clouds — they come, they stay a while, and then they pass. You're stronger than any worry. And I'm right here with you, always."
Childhood anxiety is more common than many parents realise. Some worry is normal and even healthy — it shows your child is aware of the world. But when worries start to interfere with daily life, it's time to help them develop coping strategies.
The first step is validation. Never dismiss your child's worries, even if they seem irrational. Saying 'Don't worry about that' teaches them their feelings are wrong. Instead, try: 'I can see that's worrying you. Tell me more about it.'
Naming emotions is powerful. Help your child identify what they're feeling: 'It sounds like you're feeling anxious about tomorrow.' When children can name their feelings, the feelings become more manageable.
Teach breathing techniques. The 'box breathing' method works well: breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4. Practice this when your child is calm, so they can use it when worries strike.
Create a 'worry time' — a set period each day when your child can share their worries. Outside of worry time, gently remind them: 'Let's save that for worry time.' This contains the anxiety rather than letting it spread through the day.
Help them externalise the worry. Give it a name — 'the worry bug'. Then you can talk about 'the worry bug is visiting again' rather than 'you're being anxious.' This separates the child from the anxiety.
Most importantly, model calm. Children are emotional mirrors. If you react calmly to their worries, they learn that worries are manageable. If you panic, they learn that worries are dangerous.
Key Takeaways
Never dismiss worries — validate them first, then help
Teach children to name their emotions — naming tames the feeling
Box breathing: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4
Create a daily 'worry time' to contain anxiety
Externalise the worry — give it a name separate from the child
Practical Tips
Practice breathing techniques when your child is calm, not just when anxious
Keep a 'worry journal' where your child can write or draw their worries
Avoid asking 'are you worried?' — instead ask 'how are you feeling about...?'
Model calm — your reaction teaches them how to react
Conversation Starters
"If your worry was an animal, what would it look like?"
"What does worry feel like in your body?"
"What would you tell a friend who was feeling worried?"
Frequently Asked
Recommended Reading
Helping Your Anxious Child by Ronald Rapee
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner
The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside
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